Surviving Birthing Class...w/ Humor

You're most likely in our third trimester by the time you've worked up enough gumption to register for a "Birthing Class". I am a firm believer if this class were mandatory in high school there would be a lot fewer teen-moms! But I digress.The "this baby actually has to come out" reality has taken a (choke)hold. Even nervous dad-to-be has come to grips with the fact that it will be a cold day in you-know-where to be able to get away with the 'cigar-in-hand and buddies at his side in the waiting room' stance. Mama's now say if you did this to me.. You SOB (I mean you darling man)...you better believe you are going to be present to get us ice chips, rub our back, be our sounding board (aka, target of profanity during contractions), remind us to breathe and let us break your ever supporting hand should the mood strike if an epidural is not on our cocktail menu. While classes will vary all around the country... There are a few commonalities that run through them all. Hope these help as you prepare.
What to bring:

• Pillow - your back and behind will thank you
• Possibly a yoga mat if you know the class is more centered around Lamaze or breathing and meditation activities
• Layer your clothing (hot cold hot cold... A room full of hormonal women... Dress in layers need I say more)
• Notebook and pen(s)
• Water bottle (luckily you wont be the only one interrupting class 50 times to run to the ladies room...so stay hydrated - and keep that amniotic fluid a lovely full swimming pool for baby!)
• Healthy snacks - that will keep blood sugar steady. (see recipes and snack ideas here)
• A list of questions if you have some running through your head prior to class.
• Your birthing partner (whether this be your man, sister, best friend, midwife, etc - don't feel you have to go alone)
• If your class is at the facility you will be delivering at you may be going on a tour - wear comfy shoes.

During class - take notes for things pertinent to your needs, write and ask questions. Check in with your partner/birthing coach to see what questions/concerns they too may have.

During  class breaks, in your head make up stories about the odd arrangements of couples you see around you (and yes there will be a few in EVERY class!) - it's quite amusing to later share with your partner to lighten to the mood on the way home! 

Refrain from comparing bellies, weight gain, etc with the other ladies in the room. Yes, you will do this a bit naturally - but don't get caught up in comparisons. You are beautifully unique and as long as you are treating you and baby healthfully... stop stressing about other prego's or fitting some "norm". I can tell you I have yet to see two pregnant women with the exact same physique, symptoms or growth rate. So simmer down and keep your eye on the prize...YOUR BABY!

It will be difficult not to have fleeting moments of panic and excitement during class. It is my hope that each one of you lovely mama's-to-be has a great partner to comfort you during class and to chat about your concerns after class.

Suggestion: upon arriving home after class with your baby's father - be a nice partner and go directly to the kitchen to make him his favorite cocktail - do not pass go, do not collect $200...he has seen and heard things at class that he is going to want to fade/dull from memory and minds eye.