It's true... I realized that
all of life's lessons can be learned from your very own small, wrinkly Yoda.
Ok, so your baby is way cuter than a million year old Star Wars icon, but when
you truly observe their presence and are open to their most basic lessons on
being human, it's amazing to realize how far we can let the chaos and BS of
modern life take us away from our instincts. As a new mom, each day I
marvel at the human being growing before me. It is a remarkable experience to
watch a child "develop from scratch" for lack of a
better phrase. You start to realize the incredible amount
of things she must learn to do, the world she must come to understand and
the seemingly "simple" skills she must develop to become a
functioning, communicative, and happy little person in our society. The
privilege of watching a baby grow and mature makes you realize they are so pure
and untainted by all the chaos and derailment the world will eventually throw
their way. How do we harness and regain some of that innate power back? Well...
everything you need to know you can learn from a 5 month old... actually that
was my original title when I thought of this blog. And in true new mom-fashion,
nothing gets done on time...so my baby is now a year old! I'm glad I have had
this sitting in my drafts because I have learned even more in the last 7
months. Here we go...
1. Failure is not an option - babies continue to learn, grow and explore every waking second, they are not stopped by the fear of failure. They have not learned disappointment yet. So what do they do? They try things. They accidentally accomplish new things and realize they made it happen so they learn to repeat that new talent if it benefits them. They also start to learn what does not behoove them, opting for the actions that bring them reward. Either way, they persist until their needs are met. When was the last time you approached a goal this relentless in life? With such tenacity and conviction... makes you wonder "what could have been" and "what can be".
2. The statement "I don't have time" is taken to a whole new level as a mom - When I was pregnant I had a severe misconception that I could be a Supermom defying all time warp odds. I was going to strap my baby to me and continue my daily workaholic tendencies. HA! The reality is I learned that nothing is as important as being there for my child every day. When she is awake I want to be experiencing her every "first" alongside her, not glued to my laptop like my formerly single, non-mom self. Your baby will have a mind of her own and just like anything in nature; she needs love, attention, nourishment and sunlight to grow - who'da thunk! That means that this blog entry was started when my beautiful daughter was 5 months old and is now being finished as she celebrates her first birthday. I blinked and that happened... so babies make you realize that time warping is inevitable and you just have to let your anxiety about not accomplishing enough other things in a day go. To be honest I am still working on that! I definitely still have my many moments of frustration for not getting enough done. So I remind myself, "What do I want more, life experiences and memories as a family or a pen mark through another action item on my to-do list??" Easy answer when you put it like that.
2. Food is for Thrival (not just survival); not to cease boredom, provide an emotional hug, soothe anger or keep you company - food is the foundation for our livelihood. Babies aren't enticed by silky ribbons of chocolate calling their name across the TV screen in between sitcoms or the wafting of cinnamon from a grocery store bakery. They feel true hungry and they know they need to end that discomfort. As adults, our food should be well thought out and not a mindless numbing. Babies eat for survival, body growth, brain development, and so on. When did we start getting away from that as kids or adults? Next time you go to eat, think about what purpose that food serves for you... and make a better THRIVAL choice. Does it help you fight disease? Does it help you feel energized? Does it help you meet your physique goals?...and so on.
3.Wake up hungry - breakfast is the spark-plug for your daily motor. It revs us up from a fasting slumber and it fuels our day’s intentions. Make breakfast meaningful by not shoving some sugar drizzled unwrappable into your mouth during rush hour. Be grateful you woke up this morning; be thankful you have the ability to take on another day. Give your body the respect it deserves by putting some premium high octane into it! When was the last time a baby slept and didn't wake up hungry and primed for nutrition?
4. When you eat... just eat! Is your infant checking their email and gossiping on the phone? No ma'am, she is focused on her top mission, feeding! She is getting comfort from the experience of sharing a meal with you. Just as new moms are encouraged to feed their babies in a quiet room and make eye contact with their child, we as adults should maintain that practice. Eat while calm. Eat slowly and enjoy the actual experience. Appreciate the people you are sharing that meal with.
5. A laugh or smile can change a room - who can resist the sound of a baby laughing? No one with a beating heart! Perfect strangers will smile from across a restaurant wave at my daughter from 30 feet away and just become completely smitten with her head tilting, eye flirting and ear-to-ear grin. A simple smile can make a person’s day. We all want to feel good and one person leading the way can become infectious. So try smiling no matter how you feel on the inside and you just may find you not only turn someone else's day around, but you start to actually feel your smile from within.
5. Sleep is important. Yep, sounds like a pretty "duh" statement, but I think between 5-Hour Energy Shots and Starbucks being mainlined into our society’s veins, we ignore the sheep that keep trying to count us to sleep. Instead those sheep lay on the floor next to us while we catch up on social media, tinker with house chores and waste time with the boob tube. Why does a baby sleep so much? They need to grow and repair. Guess what...so do adults! We grow mentally when we sleep. It allows our brain and body to recharge. Why do you think sleep deprivation leads to premature aging and inability to focus. Sleep keeps us youthful.
6. Stretching - the lost art. Nowadays we have to schedule and pay $20 bucks an hour to be shown how to stretch our own bodies! I am not knocking yoga, in fact I started making it a part of my weekly MUST HAVE's, but that is because I have gotten so stiff that my body feels older than my true age. This scares the bejesus out of me. I envy my daughters flexibility. Babies and animals stretch very frequently in a day, and they always stretch upon waking - I think they are on to something ;-)
7.
Being able to communicate is the key to not being
frustrated. Teaching my daughter basic sign language has saved us and most
importantly her, tremendous frustration in knowing if she is hungry for milk vs.
food, finished eating or wants more and so on. Do you clearly communicate your
needs or do you assume people know what you want? I have some work to do in
that department!
8. Constant Movement. We are meant to move, harness, and capture and recharge energy and movement; they are life forces. Babies don't spend hours a day staring at computer screen, in a cubicle or car or watching TV. After a couple months old they move pretty much constantly with every waking moment. From birth to a few months old, they have spontaneous movements they cannot control, as their mind-body connection is trying to work out the wiring and misfiring, but nonetheless, the human body is built for movement. We are living creatures and as such need movement of energy - stop being a slug and use your body. If you neglect regular physical activity start by working more movement into your daily routine and build up to additional beneficial workouts.
8.Being able to put your foot in your mouth is a lost art. As adults it means we really should have stopped commenting on something long before our brain got the message our mouth was running a muck. But a baby putting their foot in their mouth just goes back to my point about flexibility. :)
9.Falling down doesn't/shouldn't phase you if you know you can always get back up - and when you are tired of getting back up your loved ones pull you up (surround yourself with people who pull you back up)
10. Thriving is not an all or nothing attitude, but a try try try again mantra. When we take on an all or nothing mentality to a lot of goals and tasks in life we set ourselves up for failure. My daughter wanted to learn how to get in and out of her plastic toy car on her own and I sat with her as she climbed in and bout 52 (FIFTY TWO!!!!) times in a row before being satisfied with her new skill. Now that is some tenacity my friends! Have you given up on something too soon?
11. Truly taste your food. Food is a sensory experience and should be consciously eaten, experienced and processed. Trying something once doesn't mean you don't like it, it means maybe you may not have tried if enough times to like it yet. I watch my daughter delight in trying new foods almost daily and it is truly remarkable to watch her expressions. You can almost see her wheels turning as she moves the food around each part of her tongue allowing different taste receptors a chance to weigh-in before making a final judgment to dip in for more and send it flying across my white carpets. (Note to parents, painters tarps and wood floors are your two best friends when your child begins solids)
12. This next lesson my father has drilled into me since I was little, but it couldn't ring any louder in my ears now that I am a mom. If you have your family and your health you have everything and without those two things you have nothing. Cherish, nourish and care for them every day like your life depends on it... oh that's because it does.
13. A tutu is always appropriate and it is never too early in the day
to put on your pajamas. As a child you can get away with wearing pretty much
anything and people will be drawn to your adorable nature. As adults we should
put on metaphorical tutu's - we should all walk into a meeting, event, or wherever
with something that makes us confident and happy tucked into our minds or on
our persons.
14. If you can learn to nap just about anywhere with any noise level going on as an infant, you will be golden when you travel, go off to college or need to sneak an office parking lot nap in as an adult! Don't ask... I won't admit who I worked for when I had to do that!
15. When did asking questions make you sound dumb? As adults I think we fear asking questions sometimes because we don't want people to think we don't know everything we need to know already. My daughter, in her own unique grunt and point kind of way "asks" about everything... and you know what... that makes her GENIUS! How is she supposed to learn if she doesn't ask? How am I to know that strikes her fancy if she doesn't make a commotion about it. SPEAK UP in your life, ask the questions even if they feel silly or are tough to hear the answers. Knowledge is always power.
16. Life's simple pleasures are what make it all worthwhile. I don't need a gambling weekend in Vegas, a surf lesson in Maui or the finest bottle of Merlot in Italy to appreciate what life has to offer. I need my family. I need the moments that make us laugh, the quiet, watchful moments that bring a happy tear to my eye, the funny sounds my daughter learns when imitating animals for the first time, the kisses my own mothers gives my daughter the second she see's her, the glances I exchange with her daddy when we know she is about to do something for the first time and we don't want to startle her, the gushing praise I overhear my father giving about my daughter, those are the experience I will always cherish and remember. Not the nights out at the bars or the designer dresses on sale. I want moments of true simplicity in all that is right with growing a family and being a decent human being.
17. You can never do enough loads of laundry to come out a winner.
18. No, Oxyclean is not God's gift to regurgitated sweet potato puree on a soft pink dress.
19. All the things you thought you
needed to register for before the baby came were really useless... thank
goodness you invited some people who are already parents to your shower.
20. Babies thrive on routine. As adults we fool ourselves into thinking we thrive in chaos. It's our bravado. Our chest beating I-am-stronger-than-you-I-have-super-powers-and-can- thrive-in-madness mantra... but all these years I have been fooling myself. By not establishing a daily sleep/play/eat routine we are now paying for it with sudden sleepless nights. I realized my work chaos and constantly changing schedule negatively impacts my daughters’ ability to calm down and stay asleep at night or nap a second time during the day. Humans need the security and comfort of knowing what is coming next. When we know what to expect we can handle a situation much more aptly. So this week I have started to create routine for us all ... and pretty quickly it seems to be rewarding us... keep you posted!
What have you learned from your children? Would love to hear your take!
- Briana Michel
www.SimplyBHealthy.com
www.BrianaMichel.com
