Ignorance is not a justifiable excuse

 

I was rocking my darling baby girl to sleep tonight. As her eyes fluttered closed to enter a wonderful dreamland, she ran her perfectly tiny hands along mine, providing her own soothing as well as mine. Those hands that were created inside my body. This beautiful creature I feel unworthy of and so in love with. Tears welled up in my eyes as images of her lying in a hospital fighting for her life less than five months ago. I will always protect this child no matter what. The thought of any parent not doing everything humanly  possible to give their child a healthy and happy life truly boggles my mind. 

As I lay there breathing in my little miracle and counting my blessings, my mind flipped to a conversation a friend had with me yesterday. She told me her cousin is seven months pregnant. Which would normally be cause for celebration, but what she told me next had us both SEETHING. The pregnant cousin has celiacs disease;  for those of you unfamiliar with CD, gluten becomes the devil. If you do not drastically change your nutrition to accommodate the gluten-free lifestyle, your healthy is severely impacted. You eventually do so much internal damage that your body cannot sufficiently process nutrients.  When people with CD eat foods that contain gluten, it creates an immune-mediated toxic reaction that causes damage to the small intestine and does not allow food to be properly absorbed. Even small amounts of gluten in foods can affect those with CD and cause health problems. When food is not absorbed they are not getting the proper nutrition they need. That is bad enough for the person with CD, but now think about that baby that is trying to grow in an environment depleted of proper nourishment. Struggling to pull nutrition from a malnourished "host". This woman, and I hesitate to call her a mother, because what mother can knowingly neglect her child's needs like this, is living on pasta and grape soda! Not only is the pasta's gluten destroying her, but the grape soda is all chemicals and of ZERO benefit. She throws up every time she eats gluten, but still doesn't change her food intake. She is not taking in any fresh fruits, veggies, protein sources, healthy fats, or staying hydrated, and the list goes on. She is completely negligent in my opinion. She has not gained a single pound as she enters her 3rd trimester. The baby is underweight and this woman is doing nothing about changing her destructive behavior.She actually said :"the baby must want grape soda because that's all I can keep down". How can you possibly believe that rationale. This is also the same woman that gained almost 100 pounds with her first pregnancy. Which is a whole other massively ridiculous abusive scenario in my books. The human body needs more respect than this. Our lives as both mother and child are worth more than this simple-minded destruction.

It is sickening to me that there are no repercussions for pregnant women who don't adopt healthy behaviors to provide for the life inside them. They are allowed to abuse their children up until they are born. No one steps in to protect that child while they are in utero. That baby is dependent solely on its mothers discretion to provide an environment for which he/she can thrive. Where is the doctor in all this? Even if the doctor is urging their patients to adhere to healthier guidelines there is no enforcing agency, no one to turn the abuse in to...because while the child is still in utero apparently it's not illegal to abuse them. Which when you stop to think, it is really unfathomable. I'm done holding my silence. I want to spark you to THINK and ACT. Whether it's you who is pregnant or know someone who is, it is our job as intelligent human beings to stop cowering away from uncomfortable issues. Take a stand you might just save a life.

When you create a living being inside of you it is not your right to be able to harm that child. You should no longer have the right to treat your body like an amusement park or a back alley dumpster. It is no longer your right to be misinformed and poorly educated. I am so sick of these awful stories of women simply not caring. Then guess what you shouldn't be pregnant in the first place, because you blatantly are not ready to be a good mother. Funny, we have to get a permit and license to drive a car, we need gun permits and training to own a firearm and we need a license for boating and hunting, but any idiot can procreate and not have to know a thing about how to adequately care for a living human being or go through basic training on how to treat themselves during the journey.

I am PLEADING with any woman reading this to stop the madness. Educate yourselves on what needs to be done to be healthy for you and your family. When you see something that morally does not sit well with you SPEAK UP. Silence breeds regret and harmful consequences. We are so concerned with offending people and not sticking our nose in that we idly sit by and watch our society fall further and further from its pure and good humanity. We fall further from a well functioning and healthy society. Each generation is becoming a duller copy of the one before. We walk around in a fog of stress, ignorance and chaos. Not stopping to cherish what we have; the miraculous ability to create life and thrive as we do so.

My two cents worth....

Surviving Birthing Class...w/ Humor

You're most likely in our third trimester by the time you've worked up enough gumption to register for a "Birthing Class". I am a firm believer if this class were mandatory in high school there would be a lot fewer teen-moms! But I digress.The "this baby actually has to come out" reality has taken a (choke)hold. Even nervous dad-to-be has come to grips with the fact that it will be a cold day in you-know-where to be able to get away with the 'cigar-in-hand and buddies at his side in the waiting room' stance. Mama's now say if you did this to me.. You SOB (I mean you darling man)...you better believe you are going to be present to get us ice chips, rub our back, be our sounding board (aka, target of profanity during contractions), remind us to breathe and let us break your ever supporting hand should the mood strike if an epidural is not on our cocktail menu. While classes will vary all around the country... There are a few commonalities that run through them all. Hope these help as you prepare.
What to bring:

• Pillow - your back and behind will thank you
• Possibly a yoga mat if you know the class is more centered around Lamaze or breathing and meditation activities
• Layer your clothing (hot cold hot cold... A room full of hormonal women... Dress in layers need I say more)
• Notebook and pen(s)
• Water bottle (luckily you wont be the only one interrupting class 50 times to run to the ladies room...so stay hydrated - and keep that amniotic fluid a lovely full swimming pool for baby!)
• Healthy snacks - that will keep blood sugar steady. (see recipes and snack ideas here)
• A list of questions if you have some running through your head prior to class.
• Your birthing partner (whether this be your man, sister, best friend, midwife, etc - don't feel you have to go alone)
• If your class is at the facility you will be delivering at you may be going on a tour - wear comfy shoes.

During class - take notes for things pertinent to your needs, write and ask questions. Check in with your partner/birthing coach to see what questions/concerns they too may have.

During  class breaks, in your head make up stories about the odd arrangements of couples you see around you (and yes there will be a few in EVERY class!) - it's quite amusing to later share with your partner to lighten to the mood on the way home! 

Refrain from comparing bellies, weight gain, etc with the other ladies in the room. Yes, you will do this a bit naturally - but don't get caught up in comparisons. You are beautifully unique and as long as you are treating you and baby healthfully... stop stressing about other prego's or fitting some "norm". I can tell you I have yet to see two pregnant women with the exact same physique, symptoms or growth rate. So simmer down and keep your eye on the prize...YOUR BABY!

It will be difficult not to have fleeting moments of panic and excitement during class. It is my hope that each one of you lovely mama's-to-be has a great partner to comfort you during class and to chat about your concerns after class.

Suggestion: upon arriving home after class with your baby's father - be a nice partner and go directly to the kitchen to make him his favorite cocktail - do not pass go, do not collect $200...he has seen and heard things at class that he is going to want to fade/dull from memory and minds eye.